The saints wanted perfection
so do some of us
but chasing this goal is like
walking over burning coals
what about progress?
what about turning away from Never Enough?
resting in the realization that
this life is absurd
that all this effort can
crash & burn
in the blink of an eye
(Photo by Aron Van de Pol on Unsplash)
If you were raised religious, you might know “Eshet Chayil.” Maybe you don’t know it by that name, but you know it by its translation: “A Woman of Valor,” which can be found in Proverbs 31:10-31.
I confuse myself sometimes. I long for peace and quiet, for love and compassion. Yet, there’s that part of me that’s also drawn to darkness, to morbidity, gothic stories, horror movies. I’ve noticed this more about myself since I’ve been in recovery and I’ve done intensive psychotherapy.
I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been in self-isolation because of the pandemic. But one thing is clear: the effects of isolation are starting to add up. This became evident recently when the tension grew and exploded between my grandfather and I.