What is this beast that rises from the sludge?
My friend thinks it’s quite amazing
It’s obvious that I have misjudged
The beast’s insatiable cravings
It has swallowed my family whole
In one terrifying gulp
Now it will not let up control
Our insanity is the result
I once wanted total control, until that day
Everything spun in a mad frenzy, and I lost my grip
On sanity – leaving me locked away
Without a say on anything and everything
Yes, this has happened many times before
And the illusion of control always surges back
I try to ignore that monster in my head
To restore my equilibrium
To reach a place that’s solid, that has a foundation
That doesn’t constantly crack
But maybe that last madness was too much
And it knocked me to the ground for good
Maybe I’ve truly lost touch
With a reality that’s wholesome and good
Chance at redemption
Every day, new journeys
But desire is gone
Replaced by resignation
Life as drab with no color
“It is very hard to explain to people who have never known serious depression or anxiety the sheer continuous intensity of it. There is no off switch.” — Matt Haig
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Unplugged radios play broadcasts
of rage, wrath; singular messages
intended for my ears only
signals from space
reaching this place
where I listen carefully
stammer incessantly
and know, just know
they’re coming for me
“One of the things so bad about depression and bipolar disorder is that if you don’t have prior awareness, you don’t have any idea what hit you.” – Kay Redfield Jamison
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Depression comes fast
like a thief in the dark night
breaks into a house
steals your sense of sanity
robs you of all you hold dear
“If we start being honest about our pain, our anger, and our shortcomings instead of pretending they don’t exist, then maybe we’ll leave the world a better place than we found it.” – Russell Wilson
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“Anyone who has actually been that sad can tell you that there’s nothing beautiful or literary or mysterious about depression.” – Jasmine Warga
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“A vivid imagination is awesome. A manic imagination is a curse.” ― Stanley Victor Paskavich
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