Help, LORD, for the godly are no more
& we drown in mud
always wanting more
sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll
but, LORD, do you really care about this?
what’s wrong with a roll in the hay?
what’s wrong with being gay?
nothing at all, i suppose you’d say
Why, O LORD, do you stand far off?
up in cloudy heavens
obscured by bright suns
that brutalize my brethren
i seek peace, O LORD
but pieces of me shatter
into tiny shards
every time the gun shots
blare in this dystopian world
God consumes me in the whirlwind.
what I can’t stand most
is a fundamentalist
those so warped they
plow through the world
for absolutist goals –
true believers born again
carrying crosses to capitol buildings
committing divine crimes
receiving direct messages from
god via email
This is no longer God’s planet.
to say we were lost boys would be cliché
but clichés have ways
of cementing truths into language
like hard red suns that scorched West Philly & warm beers we guzzled ‘till we couldn’t walk straight & time went missing like a thief
who stole my innocence
& we packed into an old sedan on a road to nowhere &
perhaps, if time is not linear, this had to happen &
if free will is a myth, we had no choice in the matter,
merely swigging, smoking, fighting in adolescent wastelands
For my father
in the dining room, action figures were imprisoned in a green vase, and you returned from prison with my uncle, looking slimmer
from pushups in sunbaked yards
mustache and dazed look gone, down on one knee, arms open wide & smiling with teeth I learned were fakes
I thought you were fake, too
unrecognizable, a stranger from a blurred past we no longer spoke of, only at grandma’s house, when we opened letters decorated by your brother with cut-outs from Marvel comics
& were told you were away on business –
in solitude I come to know myself –
chatter of others stripped away, me stripped
of creature comforts, a creature without
a haven, thoughts bang & jangle
in a brain that has gone insane –
I recently got some bad news that a friend of mine from recovery suddenly passed away. He was only 32 years old. As these dark pandemic days drag on, I felt I needed to write this post to process my emotions.