Depression is Like (a poem)

Depression is like draining the color from all

perception, until you see complete darkness –

like becoming blind in an instant, and having

to rely on the other four senses to navigate

a harsh landscape. It appears without warning,

as if you’re traveling on a frozen lake and the

ice gives way – you sink into the water, you cry,

you flail your arms – but all you can do is stay

afloat until the sun appears again and

you’re rescued.

(Photo by Collin Hardy on Unsplash)

On Anxiety and Choosing Faith over Fear

Rachel has told me many times before of her struggles with anxiety. When I listened to her, I used to not be able to understand it. I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly calm person, and I can remember many moments from over the past several years where I’ve felt very peaceful.

Continue reading

A Feeling that No Longer Exists (a poem)

Grief is not a neat, five-stage process that can

be completed like a grade-school assignment.

It’s more like losing someone and then losing

yourself, as well – there’s shock, denial,

and depression – but also the feeling that

there’s a new void that’ll never be filled.

Continue reading

Another Channel (a poem)

I want to feel connected to the planet –

wet, black soil after a hard rain or swaying

tree boughs that reach out, wish to embrace me.

I want it so much, and yet, I feel nothing –

only a dullness where the planet is another channel

on so many screens, divorced from the living ground

of my ancestors.

(Photo by Jisun Han on Unsplash)

Pray for You

Prayer has always been a major part of my life. I remember kneeling next to my bed as a little girl to pray. I even loved when I was old enough to lead my family in our dinner prayers, which sometimes felt like a sermon because I got lost on tangents and just love talking (even to God)!

Continue reading

Working with Depression

It’s relatively easy for me to fall into a depressed mood. It’s also something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. What I’m coming to realize, though, is looking at depression as an enemy that must be fought only puts me deeper in the hole.

Continue reading