I didn’t realize how I much appreciated silence until my late twenties, after another mental health breakdown. A bad breakup had sent me running to another self-help group and, unknowingly, into a deeper search for God.Continue reading
The soul-snatcher glared at me from the dusty street corner with fiery orange eyes, his hands cupped over his mouth because of the early morning cold.
I had been out late that night, and I was returning home a little tipsy.
“Hello there,” he said. “Looking for your fix?”
We wallow in the cathedral, sell wisdom by the ounce.
Sleeping on a bed of soda cans and condoms,
next shot could be the last;
eyes closed, mouth foams, we melt into the hardwood floor.
Father, forgive me.
We came from the county;
grew up on farms, riding horses.
Sitting in the derelict pew; this used to be a spiritual haven.
Maybe it still is?
Father, forgive me.
We’re in the here and now, and now, we want a shot,
filling us like cheap unleaded,
let us lie here in our twisted peace.
Father, forgive us.
See the silver moon through the trees,
but don’t open the gates that lead to the dark forest.
I forget what the outside’s like;
in the twilight, hear the groans of the dying.
They claw at the gates, fingernails breaking.
They are not supernatural or beasts or animal-men,
they are just the unfortunates.
In this commune, this aged mansion of the lucky ones,
we pray for the outside.
“Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that cause changes in a person’s mood, energy and ability to function. Bipolar disorder is a category that includes three different conditions — bipolar I, bipolar II and cyclothymic disorder.” -American Psychiatric Association
Madness seems like such an old-fashioned term, much like “insane asylum.” However, I’ve known madness in my life and, when going through the mental twists and turns, it can be difficult to recognize just how mad I am.Continue reading
It was a full moon that night, a bright and powerful moon that beamed blinding light onto the blankets of snow that covered the hills.Continue reading
I was a mess in college.
Two years before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I had found myself at an expensive liberal arts university in Long Island, New York, with somewhat of a trajectory for life, and a moral compass, and many good qualities and strengths.Continue reading
A few months ago, I began looking through my journals at old poems I had written. “Strange planet” has gone through several revisions over the past year or so, and this is where I’m at with it so far.Continue reading
Here’s a piece of flash fiction I wrote a few years ago about supernatural visions and the fanaticism they may cause:Continue reading
Here’s a piece of flash fiction I wrote a couple of years ago that, I suppose, is semi-autobiographical. It’s about loneliness and the yearning for human connection.Continue reading