What does it mean to have bipolar disorder?
I was diagnosed with Bipolar I in college. After a clear manic episode while going to Temple University, a psychiatrist working on the campus prescribed me a mood stabilizer, along with the depression and anti-anxiety medications I was already taking.
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“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard
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I. Relativity
Have you noticed?
The homeless population is increasing
In the LA tent encampments
Surrounded by luxury cars
They plan to change the world
They are our only hope
At night, they bake beans over trash-can fires
Tell stories of their downfalls
And imaginary triumphs
Then they cuddle up in their tents
And scream into the void
They are met with silence
The black mist rolled around me
And the vase shattered into a million pieces
The flower petals it once held
Orange, red and yellow, they were all scattered around
The pieces are now jagged and sharp
Piercing my skin deeply with every try to collect them
Maybe I’ll make a mosaic of them one day
And hopefully that image is as lovely as the vase used to be
(Photo by Fabien TWB on Unsplash)
During winters of discontent
It’s imperative to remember
That I’m not a malcontent
And all I must do is surrender
Surrender to the sky and the sea
And throw my body in the ocean
The water washes over me
The salty air is like a potion
There was a time in my life
When I was in a straight-jacket
And I left the hospital foaming at the mouth
And was met with intolerable colors
World is a mirror
Stare back, see the beautiful truth
Reflection is you
Give hate and get hatred back
Give love and feel the warmth
I want to burn it all down
I’m not proud of it
But I must admit
I’m drawn to the destruction
Like a moth to a flame
The death-instinct deep inside
Driving down the highway
Passing the car crash
And turning my head
To see if anyone’s dead
It’s deplorable – this overwhelming urge
And I notice how it surges
And it’s like a scourge
The self-sabotage and the purge
That puts us on the verge
Of tearing everything down
“Reading is an exercise in empathy; an exercise in walking in someone else’s shoes for a while.” – Malorie Blackman
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In the previous installment, we meet the Monk and Louie, and Louie is withdrawing and desperate for his fix. The Monk caves in and gives Louie money to get heroin, not knowing what else to do.
Let’s jump into Part 2, where we learn about more about the Monk, a legendary figure in the city.
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