What does it mean to have bipolar disorder?
I was diagnosed with Bipolar I in college. After a clear manic episode while going to Temple University, a psychiatrist working on the campus prescribed me a mood stabilizer, along with the depression and anti-anxiety medications I was already taking.
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I once wanted total control, until that day
Everything spun in a mad frenzy, and I lost my grip
On sanity – leaving me locked away
Without a say on anything and everything
Yes, this has happened many times before
And the illusion of control always surges back
I try to ignore that monster in my head
To restore my equilibrium
To reach a place that’s solid, that has a foundation
That doesn’t constantly crack
But maybe that last madness was too much
And it knocked me to the ground for good
Maybe I’ve truly lost touch
With a reality that’s wholesome and good
Religion is a system of cruelty
And the priests are the executioners
The church can no longer fool me
Of the terrible abuse that occurs
Let’s go beyond good and evil
Into the gray mist of the unknown
Leaving behind the crosses and medieval morality
That have provided comfort for so long
This priest towers over me; a blazing fury in his eyes
He foams at the mouth and tells me
He’s the Devil in disguise
Trust me, I do believe him – in the darkness of the confessional
His tales of deceit are utterly credible
And his wizened face is ancient and contemptible
Interstellar dreams
Are with me all the time
Strange planets that always seem
So peaceful and sublime
Interstellar dreams
Without gravity or remorse
Making love to cosmic queens
The vision always distorts
Do you have any goals for your blog? I’m not sure if I do. While I dream of making income off my writing, I don’t have any solid plans to do so. And I must admit, I don’t have much of a mind for business.
I started this blog in 2016 with the simple goal of sharing things that interested me – my poetry, fiction, books I’ve read, etc. So far, I’ve stayed pretty close to my original intent. And that brings me to the purpose of this post: to discuss why creative writing is so therapeutic to me.
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Here’s a piece of flash fiction about a fortune-teller and a naïve young man. It’s about 460 words and has an estimated reading time of about 2 minutes. Let me know what you think!
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The world spins, but you’re no longer here
Over these years, I’ve shed many tears
Because I miss you
When you were with us, you drove me crazy
Now that you’re gone, my mind is hazy
Because I miss you
I didn’t know what grief would be like
I’ve never felt so downtrodden before
I continue to gripe about your loss
I’ve pushed the feelings down to my core
Because I miss you
The prophet travels through the mountains
Reading the desolate landscape for signs
She misses her family dearly
She had to leave them all behind
The prophet had to go on a great journey
And warn the people of coming dangers
Recently she’s begun to worry
Of her society’s rapid changes
The people have lapsed into sin
And we all know what happens next
The great flood will soon begin
And wipe everyone off the map
Is nothing sacred anymore?
Or have we talked about this before?
I can’t remember
Tall shadows in the courtyard of my mind
Were designed to keep me confined
To the dust of civilization and its embers
Don’t act like you’ve never done it
The asylums where you commit
Your killing-spree benders
